合い言葉GG
by mhara21
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☆マサコのプロフィール
13才のときにグレン・グールドのピアノに 出会う。以来抱き続けたグールドに会うという夢を追って28才でカナダへ。後追い日記はその記録である。
属性はシャーマン。


☆ミクシに習って、ぬさんからの紹介状
不在の幻影から愛するひとを救い出し、グーグルキャッシュの中に愛のエクリチュールを刻印しつづける、GGの恋人。二人はもう触れあうことができないが故に永遠に惹き付けあうことができる、まるで恒星と惑星の関係のような、あらゆる恋人が夢見るユートピアに住むひとです。


☆このブログの本拠地は
 海峡web版  です。

グールド、並びにグールド家からのプレゼントはこちら。

 グールドのサイン入りレコード
 もう1つのレコード
 グールドの本とそのメモ書き
 パパグールドさんのご本

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Diary Entry 1981-32 : A Chat with Mr. Oyama

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.
b0071688_09240680.jpg

#A Chat with Mr Ōyama

I went to visit Mr Oyama who lived in Vancouver in order to take over my plane ticket refund and pick up my winter clothes.

“You know, Mako, the title of Thomas Mann’s Magic Mountain in Japanese is the Demon’s Mountain, ‘Ma* no yama’. I think such title puts a general reader off. They should’ve translated it as ‘Mahō** no yama’, because it’s meaning is closer to ‘magic’.

“I agree with you Mr Ōyama. The Japanese title’s confusing, it sounds like something demonic. The concept of a demon originates from Greek poet Hesiod (he was active at the end of the 8th century BCE and wrote epic poetry), and Germans interpret it as something often found in literary and music artists who make deep impressions on their readers or their audience. This concept doesn’t mean ‘devil’ since a demon appears affirmatively as a guardian spirit.”

“No wonder Schopenhauer calls translators traitors!”

I agreed with him, “It’s similar to performers not being able to play a music piece well. Some meanings are completely out of translators’ grasp.”

“That comment is so like a musician.”

“Well, Gould’s not accomplished only as a musician, but has since his youth cultivated knowledge in literature and philosophy too.
In liner notes, he wrote an excerpt from a Baudelaire’s poem that reflected the mood of the Goldberg Variations.
But, back to the topic, Gould highly esteems Thomas Mann.”

“By the way, Mako, do you read Mann’s works?”

“Nah… Heidi is the best I can do in English… Though, I really hate people who look down on others just because they haven’t read some precise book. There are, like, millions of books, and we all have our reading preferences.”

“Hahaha, strong-minded as always, aren’t you Mako!”


Translated by Saiko


ma* = a demon, a devil, an evil spirit
maho** = magic, witchcraft, sorcery


Previous page : 1981-31 :
Next page : 1981-33 : Tchaikovsky/The Seasons Part 1



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by mhara21 | 2018-01-31 00:00 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-31 : Visitors from Japan

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

b0071688_19361689.jpg
# Visitors from Japan

“Long time no see, Mako. I mean, really, I can’t believe you’re managing all by yourself this far from home! I lived in London for a few months last year and English totally killed me,” were the first words my friend Nishimura said when we met.  

My first visitors from Japan have just arrived to Toronto. Mr Nishimura and his eldest daughter Akemi.
“You were rather painful to look at when you were in Japan, but here you seem quite lively and vigorous. By the by, has anything happened about Gould?” my friend goes on.
“He sent me a record a while ago.”
“Wow, that is great!”

“Let’s go to Niagara Falls as soon as you settle,” I suggest.
b0071688_19365914.png

A photo of my friend Nishimura, his daughter and me during our sightseeing on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls

It is said that droplets flying from falls ionize the surrounding air turning in effect human brain waves to alpha waves and bringing it into a meditative state. Yet, I can’t feel anything even standing directly next to this immense waterfall now spoiled by human activity.
b0071688_19383700.png
I am standing in a gift shop, unable to decide if I should buy three Turkey-made wallets or just two. “It’s a really great bargain,” the shop attendant is assuring me about the third wallet, but I give it up because three gifts are beyond my means.

On the bus on our way back I suddenly realised that the scenery beyond the white veil of the falls reminded me of a mountain from the otherworld where a spirit took me in the winter of my 16th year. When something like this happens I simply can’t keep quiet, so I enter a deep discussion about it with Akemi.

“That mountain appears in Nietzsche’s ‘Thus Spoke Zarathustra’, and I got really surprised when I read it. The idea of “the overman” cannot be carried out unless combined with eternal recurrence.
When I was 20 years old I realized now is the eternity, and I was relieved from the burden of the idea of the overman I’d carried since I was 16.

I understood the first part of Zarathustra well. However, I didn’t understand anything about “eternal recurrence”. I haven’t the faintest idea what Nietzsche wanted to say with it. I was sitting down on August 1, shortly before my 20th birthday, and a feeling struck me that the time suddenly pushed Me forward, and from behind pushed Me back into Myself who was sitting at that same spot.

In my diary I wrote, “I have noticed that I am not only one point, but a part of a whole cycle. Since that cycle is eternity that means this current moment is eternity too. Therefore, eternity is already fulfilled in this moment.”

When I reached this cognition, I realised my life was the embodiment of the very torment of “the overman” Nietzsche wrote about in the first part of Zarathustra.
I was finally liberated from the yoke of the duty Zarathustra spoke to me – the duty to convey “eternity” to other people through playing the piano.

Gould also likes Nietzsche. How does he read it, I wonder. The German ‘Übermennsch’ has a meaning of the one climbing up, while the English word is “superman”. Don’t you find it strange?
I think of myself as a companion who listens to Gould’s performances.”

“My painting teacher said once that the art is ‘in service of others’. I think being able to see things others can’t see, and hear things others can’t hear as you do is really splendid.”
b0071688_19414603.jpg
  
In Japan there is an idea of a waterfall as a place of ascetic practice in which religious meditation is conducted while sitting under the hit of a mild waterfall. This is called “shūkō” or “meditation under a waterfall”.
In the bus, away from the piercing autumn sun, I enjoyed the thoughts about waterfalls, protecting my head from ultraviolet rays.

My head is swimming with sudden and random ideas, which flow freely from time-transcending daydreaming that is separated from reality and thinking that rushes ahead of reason.
The waterfalls are turning into an ozone therapy and healing me now. A god lives in the two waterfalls, who gently cleanses spirits wandering around between the Unites States and Canada.
And there, on the other side of the water curtain, there is a big stage. When you go through the curtain, on that stage, you can see the heroine of this story Mako Hara.
I feel as if I’ve spent the whole day today in the company of Dragon God who lives in the waterfalls.

Translated by Saiko




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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2018-01-25 00:00 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

田中希代子:生誕86年・没後22年を記念して

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もしも神様が悪人を退治して、善人を守る伝説があるとしたら、
私はそれは嘘だと思う。

田中希代子さんは世界で最も謙虚で純粋、
精進の毎日で美を追求する音楽家だった。

「知性は差し出しても受け取られることがない」
という言葉通り、通俗的で汚れきった魂を愛する人たちから、
見向きもされなかった。

それはバレンボイムがシュナーベルを評した言葉に似ているかもしれない。
「シュナーベルの音楽は当時、精神的な人以外、見向きもされなかった」

台湾に日本統治時代の呼称が「火焼島(かしょうとう)
現在の呼称『緑島』がある。
中国語では「リュィタオ」
台湾語では「リョットー」
この4つの呼称を持つ島には、政治囚専用の監獄があった。
悪い人が佳い人ばかりを、デタラメに閉じ込め、迫害した。
中国本土から来た人々(国民党)の恥部というべき場所だった。

緑を愛するピアニスト・田中希代子さんは
35才から亡くなる64才21日まで、スタニスクフ・レム著「ソラリス」の
「欠陥を持った神」により、音楽囚として『緑島』に閉じ込められた。
その理由は
 「美しすぎるピアノを弾いたから」という罪

今年はコア・キフォアさんの詩を捧げます。

~~~~~~~~

  燃えよ、火燒島  柯 旗化

     ──1988年9月、十數年前緑島政治犯監獄で過ごした
       暗黒の日々を思い出して作る

  島の北端の
  丘の麓にある政治犯墓地
  この世の地獄の苦しみを嘗め盡し
  恨を飲んで死んだ獄友が
  寂しくここに眠っている

  暴政にあえぐ同胞を救う為
  尊い命を捧げた友よ
  今は人人に忘れられ
  その孤獨な魂は怒濤と化して
  晝は海に咆哮し
  夜は濱邊で號泣する

  看守の目を盗んで
  墓地の傍で
  暫し肩のもっこをおろして佇み
  死んだ獄友に向い
  頭を下げて黙祷する
  西の方眺めれば
  荒波吼える海の遙か彼方に
  台灣の山々が私を呼んでいる

  牢獄と勞働キャンプを
  轉々として既に十余年
  来る年も来る年も
  空しく素通りして
  懐かしいわが家に
  何時歸れるというあてもなく
  長年絶えずさいなまれて
  疲れ果てたこの身は
  いつまで生きて居れるやら
  小聲で妻子の名呼べば
  いつか目がうるむ

  だがもう一人の私が
  わが身を鞭打っている
  たとえ力盡きて倒れようとも
  私は依然として元の私であり
  真理はどこまでも真理である

  燃えよ火燒島
  長い年月抑えられて来た
  台灣人の怒りは
  いつか火を吹いて
  腐敗したものをきっとみな
  燒き盡してしまうだろう


  Burn, The Burning Island  Kua Ki-hua

――Written in Sep.1988 in memory of the dark days
I had as a political prisoner some fifteen years
ago on the Green Island.
[Notes]the Burning Island――an old name of
the Green Island.

  The cemetery for political prisoners
  Located at the foot of a hill
  In the northern tip of the island,
  A number of fellow prisoners
  who suffered hell on earth,
  pocketing their insults,
  are lying forlornly there.

  My friends,
  You offered your precious lives
  to save the suffering brethren.  
  But now you're forgotten by people.
  Your lonely spirits have changed
  to raging waves,
  Roar in the sea during the daytime,
  Cry bitterly on the strand
  during the night.

  Avoiding the ward's eye
  I laid down the two large
  basketful of soil carrying on
  my shoulder.
  I stood before the grave and
  prayed silently for the dead friend
  with my head bending low.

  Looking over the west
  Far beyond the surging sea
  The mountains of Taiwan
  are calling me.

  Traveling between prison and the labor camp
  For some dozen years,
  Hopelessly waiting for the day
  to return home where my heart
  has been lingering on.
  But each year passed by
  only to discourage me.
  Tortured for many a year
  I am quite worn out.
  How much longer can I live on?
  Calling my wife's and children's names
  in a low voice,
  I feel my eyes get wet.

  However another self is whipping myself.
  Even if I used up my last bit
  of strength and fell down,
  I'll still be myself as ever.
  And truth will be truth for ever.

  Burn, the Burning Island
  The fury of Formosans
  oppressed for so many years
  will burst out some day.
  The raging flames will burn out
  everything rotten without fail.

台湾語
b0071688_10553359.jpg



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by mhara21 | 2018-01-16 10:55 | 田中希代子 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-30 : My Diary

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

b0071688_12451913.jpg

#My Diary : October 15

They also offer a concert grand piano for rental on the underground floor of bookstore on the corner of Cowan Avenue. I worry about costs of heating in the church, so I use rental piano as well. However, they allow practicing twice a week per person, one hour per practice. Today, I ignore the time again. “You are over your time limit. Please respect the rules!” a librarian warns me. I ignore her completely. I want to continue playing on and on.

The other day I found Gould’s recording of the Goldberg Variations in A&A Records and G. Henle Verlag Goldberg Variations in a sheet music shop. I couldn’t help buying them.

I gam getting requests for babysitting from everywhere. I can’t refuse even though I am not in good health. Every time when the baby in my boardinghouse cries, for some reason I hear his crying as a version of Aria from Goldberg Variations.
Thomas Mann used “serenity, grace, harmony, empathy” to describe newly born babies. When it comes to music, nothing but this Aria can faithfully express the awe-inspiring innocent helplessness of that tiny being. The aura around a newborn baby is filled with light that we can but call god’s love.

I bring with me the Goldberg Variations record when I go babysitting, and listen to Gould’s piano with the children. Children find the swishing sound of the quick parts amusing.

While babysitting I remember the “Tale of Genji”, a novel written by Murasaki Shikibu*.
Spending time with small children who have especially nice fragrance, I am reminded particularly of Onna-sannomiya, a female character from the novel who was considered to have a wonderful body scent.

When I was a young girl the “Tale of Genji” was a special reading for me because it included many tanka** poems, also written by Murasaki Shikibu.
Since the “Tale of Genji” is very long for a general reader, it is considered that we can grasp the literary value and enjoy the whole work by reading the ‘Wakana (Young Greens)’ part of the novel, the 34th quire. I myself didn’t put much effort into the reading of the novel after the ‘Asagao (Morning Glory)’, the 20th quire.

~~~~~~~~~~~

*Murasaki Shikibu, (c. 978 – c. 1014) court lady and the author of the Tale of Genji, generally considered the greatest work of Japanese literature and thought to be the world’s oldest full novel.
**tanka (“short poem”), a genre of classical Japanese poetry, known best its five-line, 5-7-5-7-7 syllable form. Originated in the 7th century and is one of the major genres of Japanese literature.

Translated by Saiko

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by mhara21 | 2018-01-15 00:00 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-29 : Speaking in English

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.
b0071688_11020001.jpg


#Speaking in English

There is a big heater behind my back where I sit and play the piano in the church, so I am warm. I don’t recall anyone telling me to switch off the heater before leaving home, but I do it anyway.
I think people rarely remember the gratitude they feel when something has been done even though they haven’t actually voiced a request for it.
My time in church rarely coincided with the priest’s. He always said he enjoyed my piano practice, but I would return home out of consideration for him.

He offered me a gift of money as a sign of appreciation, but I told him, “It’s free.” I wanted to say, “I am sorry but I cannot accept that…” but I have no idea what I actually said.
My English was always incoherent. I always made mistakes like mixing “he” and “she”.

Martha gave birth to a baby boy on August 24. For a long time I thought the baby’s name was “Jane”.
I hadn’t noticed my mistake until they told me, “His name is James! Jane is a girl’s name.”
Speaking about that, I knew that in the US they give hurricanes female names. “Hurricane Jane” or “Hurricane Catherine”.
I also knew that James was a boy’s name, but that was not an active knowledge acquired through contact with real people.

My tongue gets tied when I need to stand and talk in front of other people even in my own language. Then I am not able to comprehend spoken language either.
The situation was the same with English. There was no way I could learn the English language through conversation with native speakers. It was precisely spoken language I had to learn in my own country first because unless I knew the proper use of words and shades of their meanings I could end up making idiots out of my speaking partners in the most unpredictable ways.
Learning the background of a word is a very important thing.

Since I had no other preparations in English except fully memorizing texts from the language learning radio programme, it was a rocky road for me. I had so much stress because of the language.
My head would be spinning, I would often get ahead of myself, I was unable to grasp the sounds.
In Miki Sawada’s book it was written that acquiring language knowledge was more valuable than possessing a handsome figure or precious gemstones. The ability to speak languages helps us reduce our fears. We can say a bit of something to convey our thanks or that we’re sorry. It is especially important to be able to say something in a polite way. In this manner we can reduce somewhat our speaking partner’s sense of mistrust that may arise in our communication due to language.

Except when communication concerns work, people of a similar mind and heart can communicate telepathically. It is better, however, to have the ability to converse well than not to have it. That is what language science is about. In that respect, successful application of that ability is as important as any of our other abilities when it comes to arranging our life in all its spheres.

Translated by Saiko 

Photo: James and his little brother and sister





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by mhara21 | 2018-01-01 00:00 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)