合い言葉GG
by mhara21
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☆マサコのプロフィール
13才のときにグレン・グールドのピアノに 出会う。以来抱き続けたグールドに会うという夢を追って28才でカナダへ。後追い日記はその記録である。
属性はシャーマン。


☆ミクシに習って、ぬさんからの紹介状
不在の幻影から愛するひとを救い出し、グーグルキャッシュの中に愛のエクリチュールを刻印しつづける、GGの恋人。二人はもう触れあうことができないが故に永遠に惹き付けあうことができる、まるで恒星と惑星の関係のような、あらゆる恋人が夢見るユートピアに住むひとです。


☆このブログの本拠地は
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グールド、並びにグールド家からのプレゼントはこちら。

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<   2017年 02月 ( 3 )   > この月の画像一覧

Golden Ball, 1982(37)

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There is one more reason why I continued playing the piano after Gould’s death. In the winter of my sixteenth year I suffered such physical pains that I could not even take a moment’s sleep. My face, inside of my mouth and my teeth hurt most. I was being told that rheumatism had gripped my whole body or that I had trigeminal neuralgia, but what my pains actually were – they were the suffering of deceased people. I was assumed by the cries of their spirits.

Every night while I cried I would hear Bach’s Goldberg Variations Aria. Its sounds would come to me every evening at the same hour, together with some kind of a god. And then, that spiritual being told me “You will recover from your illness. When you turn 50 or 60, you will play the piano and pass something to the next generation.”

When I was seventeen I read Nietzsche’s “Thus Spoke Zarathustra”. This coincided with something that happened when I was 16. I had an experience of seeing the sun before dawn with the hermit who appears in this Nietzsche’s work. That is when I became a fan of Nietzsche’s, endeavoring in my heart to fulfill the promise I made when I was 16: “One day, surely…” I am not sure how to translate this paragraph

After Gould’s death, my guiding principle became “Zarathustra”.

“Verily, a goal had Zarathustra; he threw his ball. Now be ye friends the heirs of my goal; to you throw I the golden ball.
Best of all, do I see you, my friends, throw the golden ball! And so tarry I still a little while on the earth – pardon me for it! “ (excerpt from Zarathustra’s “Free Death”, translated by Thomas Common, Dover Publications Inc.)

For me, this “golden ball” is the very Goldberg (Variations) Aria given to me by Zarathustra at the end of my 16th year.

I wanted to know what Gould had to say about Nietzsche. In such a case it would be best to ask the said person for their opinion. However, I do not go ahead and put questions forward by myself. Even when I hear voices of deceased people, I do my best not to get involved in their conversation. Because I don’t want to be led by the nose by invisible voices.

However, I do not hesitate to say to people around me about Gould’s visits.
“Does Gould speak in English or in Japanese?”
“When I understand him, in my mind his words are in Japanese.”

“Does he ever enter your body and plays the piano?”
“Gould is a sensible person, so he doesn’t do such things.”

People react differently to this. Some exasperatedly say “Hmph!” Some give a wry smile, or make a perplexed expression.
There are some who say: “Well, you thought of him so much, something was bound to happen.”


                                                               tranlated by Saiko


[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-02-28 00:00 | 後追い日記82年 | Comments(0)

Catch-up Diary 1982(36)


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November

People are really egoistic things. Several months ago I thought I would be happy if only I could daily practice the piano. I got my long-coveted visa. Even that Gould spoke to me.
Even though my daily life has arranged well, I cannot sit back and relax, and my heart is crackling. Whereas I want to be somewhere within 80 percent in all I do, my way of doing things seems to be straining too hard while counting backwards from the wanted results.

I can compare myself to a person on the margins who once didn’t even have money to buy a plant pot, and who enjoyed at leisure growing her flowers from buds, planting her music seeds in an empty can and raising them in the back alley. Suddenly that person gets thrust into a music factory, working hard but restlessly on the production of music. I also feel stress due to the lack of language talent.

My bohemian troubles have gone, and it was important to get used to the student life.
The lack of humidity in Toronto is a marvel. I remember all that Japanese humidity. I am able to practice because this region is dry.

“It makes me happy when you are playing the piano. You are a good and specially person.”
“What are you crying about now? Which is a suitable prelude for this temperament? Which number do you want to play?”

I feel weird because I can talk with him so much.
I used to be very susceptible to being possessed by the spirits of others. Such life is a very hard one, so now I negate Gould’s visits. Among the spiritualists there are those who communicate their own words as if they were god’s words or words from families of the deceased people. Therefore, whatever I would hear would frighten me greatly.

                                                               tranlated by Saiko


next Golden Ball, 1982(37)

Japanese version of Catch-up Diary 1982, (36) November へ




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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-02-15 00:00 | 後追い日記82年 | Comments(0)

田中希代子生誕85年・没後21年に寄せて


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緑色がお好きでいらした田中希代子さんに、
明治生まれの文豪・佐藤春夫の「田園の憂鬱」から一節をお贈ります。
写真はご主人でいらした作曲家の宍戸睦郎さんと。

〜〜〜〜〜
「何をそんなに見つめていらっしゃるの?」
彼の妻が彼に尋ねる。
「うん。あの丘だよ。あの丘なのだがね 」
「あれがどうしたの? 」
「どうもしない...... 綺麗じゃないか。何とも言えない......」
「 そうね。なんだか着物のようだわ」
この丘は渋い好みの御召の着物を着ていると、彼の妻は思っている。

それは緑色ばかりで描かれた単色画であった。
しかしこのモノクロームは、全ての優秀なそれと全く同じように、ほとんど無限な色彩をその単色の中に含ませていた。
そうして見ていれば見ているほど、その豊富が湧き出した。
一見ただの緑色の一かたまりであって、しかもそれは部分部分に応じて千差万別の緑色であった。

そうしてそれらが動かしがたい一つの色調を織りだしていた。たとえば一つの緑玉が、ただそれ自身の緑色を基調にして、しかし、それの磨かれた一つ一つの面に応じて、おのおの相異なった色と効果とを生み出しているありさまにも似ていた。
彼の瞳は、つねに喜んで その丘の上で休息をしている。
「透明な心を! 透明な心を!」   ーーー佐藤春夫「田園の憂鬱」より




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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-02-05 00:03 | 田中希代子 | Comments(0)