合い言葉GG
by mhara21
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☆マサコのプロフィール
13才のときにグレン・グールドのピアノに 出会う。以来抱き続けたグールドに会うという夢を追って28才でカナダへ。後追い日記はその記録である。
属性はシャーマン。


☆ミクシに習って、ぬさんからの紹介状
不在の幻影から愛するひとを救い出し、グーグルキャッシュの中に愛のエクリチュールを刻印しつづける、GGの恋人。二人はもう触れあうことができないが故に永遠に惹き付けあうことができる、まるで恒星と惑星の関係のような、あらゆる恋人が夢見るユートピアに住むひとです。


☆このブログの本拠地は
 海峡web版  です。

グールド、並びにグールド家からのプレゼントはこちら。

 グールドのサイン入りレコード
 もう1つのレコード
 グールドの本とそのメモ書き
 パパグールドさんのご本

☆グールドおよび後追い日記に関係のないトラックバックやコメントは削除する場合があります。
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神戸紀行 上島珈琲

b0071688_16290433.png

さすがに図書館と買い物に行くのは疲れた。
昨日から「淀長祭」が開かれている新開地へと足を延ばす。
神戸の山々は、いつも美しい。
映画は始まっていたので諦めて、ぐるりを散歩し
上島珈琲に戻って、空いている奥のトイレ横の大テーブルに座る。

なんと、伯父が台北の家で最後に弾いたベートーヴェンのピアノソナタ
変ホ長調第3楽章のメヌエットとトリオがBGMで流れる。
天国の伯父が私を励ましているようだ。

こんな偶然があるのだろうか?
1、2、4楽章抜きで、あのメヌエットとトリオだけが流れる。。。
この曲は地味なので知る人も少ないことだろう。

世界の片隅で演奏された20代の死にゆく青年のピアノを、
ベートーヴェンも耳に止めてくださったことでしょう。


タバコ切れの女性が、私の近くでタバコに火を付け、一口吸うと、
慌ててトイレに消えて行く。

ここはトイレの番人席のようで、次々と男性ばかりがやって来る。
一人の使用時間がやたら長いせいか、とに手をかけては、
入れないとわかり、人が次々と消えていく。
朝顔だけの部屋があればいいのにとさすがに覗きはしなかったけど。

そこに70代と思われる蒋介石夫人宋美齢のようなご婦人が現れる。
まさしく大陸の美女。横には80代後半のようなご主人。
連れのカップルも中華ムード満載の4人組がランチメニューのご注文。

私はといえば、映画はやめて、そのぶんちょっぴり贅沢をして、
ブドウジュースを飲んで行く秋を惜しんだのであった。

 
  関連日記 ベートーヴェンPソナタ#18 E♭ op31-3  byマサコ
        http://kaikyou.exblog.jp/20252754/

   ①シュナーベル版
b0071688_16312002.jpeg
   ②トーヴィ版
b0071688_16322490.jpeg
   ③原典版
b0071688_16334207.png
この3つの楽譜のメヌエットの、11小節アップビートから8小節の部分を
比べて頂きたい。

最初のシュナーベル版には、CとFに♮(ナチュラル)がついているが、
二つ目のトーヴィ版にはどちらもない。
三つ目の原典版ではCには♮がなく、Fにはある。

果たしてこの差は何か??

私は、シュナーベルが楽譜の上でこのふたつの音、特にCの音を重要視して、
奏者の注意を引いたのだと思う。
この曲を弾いたことはないが、何度も歌っているときに、
この部分のハ音とへ音に特別な美しさがあることに気づいていた。

だからシュナーベルの楽譜を見たときにびっくりした。
まさにその場所にピアノには敢えて加える必要のない♮がついているのである。
このナチュラルは、他の記号で強調する方法がないので使った、と私は思う。

「この音に最高の注意を払って、フレーズの美しさを際立たせるように」
これがシュナーベルの指示だ。
改めて、シュナーベルの楽曲への鋭い理解、演奏者への配慮と教授法に
驚くばかりだ。

 「ピアノをどう弾いていいか、わからない時は、歌ってごらんなさい。
  そして歌った通りに弾けば、フレーズは美しく自然になるのよ」
 これは、昔、母からよく聞いた言葉。
 後にマリーナ先生からも同じことを教えられた。
 その通りである。

この曲からは、家族の慟哭が音楽を通して聴こえる。
ここには演奏している伯父の家族への思い、
そして悲報に触れる未来の家族の悲哀の心が表されている。

私はこの部分でいつも 祖母、伯母、 母の女性3人の痛烈な悲しみを感じる。

伯母からは、伯父亡き後、父親である石崎皆市郎が部屋の中で呻くように
「かずひこーっ」と呼ぶ声が聞こえたと聞いた。

2度繰り返されるこのフレーズの2度めの部分では、ハ音に♮はない。
その理由は、演奏者がコーダに向かって感情を抑えた死の準備をしているからだ。

b0071688_16342864.jpg
b0071688_16344514.jpg
おや、クレッシェンドは、最初と2度めでフォントの大きさが違っているぞ。
 (写真ではあまり違話ないけれど、音符と比較するとわかる)
これは死の手前の命の一瞬の輝きを表す。
そしてそこから徐々に最後に向かって息絶えていく。

恐るべしシュナーベル。
その演奏と校訂に感謝。



**************************

[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-10-23 16:35 | エッセイ | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-20 : The Goulds’ House

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.


b0071688_18031997.jpg
#The Goulds’ House

On July 26th I got a phone call from Robert Smith.
“We got a baby boy last week. We are so happy! Would you like come for a visit today?”

Francis gave birth 7 days ago and her mother Key came to stay for a while to help them out.

For me, just being in Gould’s house was pure happiness.
They grilled mutton in the backyard. We had our dinner on the completed terrace.
Robert worked briskly and efficiently. He went around preparing our meal, taking care of the baby and doing other stuff in the house.
We had the desert inside. They prepared an ice cream garnished with fresh peaches. It was a sophisticated desert typical for the Smiths family.

“After the war, many Europeans had a strong desire to go to a new country. We were among them. My husband and I couldn’t speak a word of English, and yet we came to Canada together with our four children. My husband went to different factories every day asking, “Do you have work for me?” Francis’ mother reminisced.

Francis and Robert made funny faces at Kay’s words, saying, “Oh, no, not that story again…”

“I read once that the Japanese were buying Gould’s records most.”
“At first he was not sufficiently acknowledged, so his records often went out of print. However, when in 1968 his recording of Beethoven’s ‘Emperor’ with Stokowski as the conductor was released in Japan, he finally reached the first peak of his popularity among the Japanese.”

“Glenn was very close with his mother, and he thought his father should not marry again. So, when his father remarried their relationship went so sour that he even stopped having his customary Christmas dinner with his father. Although, Glenn said their lifestyles were so different he would end up not actually eating anything during those dinners anyway.”

I couldn’t help thinking that the only reason I could be in the Smith’s house and have this conversation with them was because Gould’s father remarried.
I told them about my experiences from the day of my arrival to Toronto until the day I came to Southwood.

“When I saw a baby buggy, I thought the Goulds moved from this house. When I saw a woman in a red shirt I thought she was Gould’s older sister.”
“That was Robert’s mother!”

Robert was very good in the art of conversation, and he flooded me with questions.
“How are marriages in Japan?”
“How is Japanese economy?”
As I was answering his questions in my faltering English, I noticed I had twisted up the tablecloth and pulled it to the left. Francis energetically put the twists back in order.

The three of them were very surprised when they heard I’d visited Caravan.
“You are very independent, Mako,” Robert said, his face bright.
“I travelled the world at Caravan!”
(We could visit pavilions of more than 50 different ethnic groups from around the world.)
“You are willing to get yourself actively involved in everything around you. We really hope you will get to meet Gould,” said Key supportively.
“Moreover, you’re the first Japanese without a camera we’ve ever seen!” she exclaimed good-humoredly and everyone laughed.
“Though the only reason you came here for is to meet Gould!” Key continued, and then offered with a smile, “I think Mako takes mental photos and stores them in her head.”
“But, what proof will you give to people that you have met Gould? Francis challenged

“I didn’t come to meet Gould so I could tell people about it.”
I was just a bumbling person who couldn’t do things other people did with ease. Having a camera was bothersome. Primarily, it was always in the way when I carried it around. As Key said, my head was heavy because it was crammed with stuff. I was a master of anxiety.

Francis carried down the new baby boy for his feeding. Robert took him in his arms first and lovingly crooned over him.
The picture of the older boy snuggling up to Francis who was breast-feeding the baby next to a flower stand looked like one of Vermeer’s masterpieces.

Whatever I saw, wherever I looked, the hum and the atmosphere of the life in the Goulds’ old home overlapped with what was in front of me. I wondered if Gould had been raised on breast milk.
The Goulds’ house was like a fairy-tale temple to the gods of music from Greek mythology. There were legends there like the ones we could find in music from Greek mythology, and a piano that belonged to a woman who gave birth to a musician whose piano was blessed by gods.
Gould’s mother’s Chickering piano was easy to play. It produced even sounds and had a keyboard that was neither too heavy nor too light.

“I am going upstairs. Do visit us again and play the piano for us.”
It seemed that the second owners of the Goulds’ house were people with plenty of happiness in their lives as well.

I went down the Southwood hill followed by the sound of cool breeze.
The glitter of peppermint fragrance from the leaves that Gould too used to see permeated my skin. If there were other sick people who had a dream to come to Canada, I would be praying for their dream to come true.

Neither pretty nor shapely heroine, good in neither English nor at piano, ended this day filled with several hours of marvelous scenarios and stage sets at a movie-like Southwood.



Previous page : 1981-19 : An Angel from the Netherlands
Next page : 1981-21 :


***************

[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-10-05 18:03 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-20The Goulds’ House

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.


b0071688_18031997.jpg
#The Goulds’ House

On July 26th I got a phone call from Robert Smith.
“We got a baby boy last week. We are so happy! Would you like come for a visit today?”

Francis gave birth 7 days ago and her mother Key came to stay for a while to help them out.

For me, just being in Gould’s house was pure happiness.
They grilled mutton in the backyard. We had our dinner on the completed terrace.
Robert worked briskly and efficiently. He went around preparing our meal, taking care of the baby and doing other stuff in the house.
We had the desert inside. They prepared an ice cream garnished with fresh peaches. It was a sophisticated desert typical for the Smiths family.

“After the war, many Europeans had a strong desire to go to a new country. We were among them. My husband and I couldn’t speak a word of English, and yet we came to Canada together with our four children. My husband went to different factories every day asking, “Do you have work for me?” Francis’ mother reminisced.

Francis and Robert made funny faces at Kay’s words, saying, “Oh, no, not that story again…”

“I read once that the Japanese were buying Gould’s records most.”
“At first he was not sufficiently acknowledged, so his records often went out of print. However, when in 1968 his recording of Beethoven’s ‘Emperor’ with Stokowski as the conductor was released in Japan, he finally reached the first peak of his popularity among the Japanese.”

“Glenn was very close with his mother, and he thought his father should not marry again. So, when his father remarried their relationship went so sour that he even stopped having his customary Christmas dinner with his father. Although, Glenn said their lifestyles were so different he would end up not actually eating anything during those dinners anyway.”

I couldn’t help thinking that the only reason I could be in the Smith’s house and have this conversation with them was because Gould’s father remarried.
I told them about my experiences from the day of my arrival to Toronto until the day I came to Southwood.

“When I saw a baby buggy, I thought the Goulds moved from this house. When I saw a woman in a red shirt I thought she was Gould’s older sister.”
“That was Robert’s mother!”

Robert was very good in the art of conversation, and he flooded me with questions.
“How are marriages in Japan?”
“How is Japanese economy?”
As I was answering his questions in my faltering English, I noticed I had twisted up the tablecloth and pulled it to the left. Francis energetically put the twists back in order.

The three of them were very surprised when they heard I’d visited Caravan.
“You are very independent, Mako,” Robert said, his face bright.
“I travelled the world at Caravan!”
(We could visit pavilions of more than 50 different ethnic groups from around the world.)
“You are willing to get yourself actively involved in everything around you. We really hope you will get to meet Gould,” said Key supportively.
“Moreover, you’re the first Japanese without a camera we’ve ever seen!” she exclaimed good-humoredly and everyone laughed.
“Though the only reason you came here for is to meet Gould!” Key continued, and then offered with a smile, “I think Mako takes mental photos and stores them in her head.”
“But, what proof will you give to people that you have met Gould? Francis challenged

“I didn’t come to meet Gould so I could tell people about it.”
I was just a bumbling person who couldn’t do things other people did with ease. Having a camera was bothersome. Primarily, it was always in the way when I carried it around. As Key said, my head was heavy because it was crammed with stuff. I was a master of anxiety.

Francis carried down the new baby boy for his feeding. Robert took him in his arms first and lovingly crooned over him.
The picture of the older boy snuggling up to Francis who was breast-feeding the baby next to a flower stand looked like one of Vermeer’s masterpieces.

Whatever I saw, wherever I looked, the hum and the atmosphere of the life in the Goulds’ old home overlapped with what was in front of me. I wondered if Gould had been raised on breast milk.
The Goulds’ house was like a fairy-tale temple to the gods of music from Greek mythology. There were legends there like the ones we could find in music from Greek mythology, and a piano that belonged to a woman who gave birth to a musician whose piano was blessed by gods.
Gould’s mother’s Chickering piano was easy to play. It produced even sounds and had a keyboard that was neither too heavy nor too light.

“I am going upstairs. Do visit us again and play the piano for us.”
It seemed that the second owners of the Goulds’ house were people with plenty of happiness in their lives as well.

I went down the Southwood hill followed by the sound of cool breeze.
The glitter of peppermint fragrance from the leaves that Gould too used to see permeated my skin. If there were other sick people who had a dream to come to Canada, I would be praying for their dream to come true.

Neither pretty nor shapely heroine, good in neither English nor at piano, ended this day filled with several hours of marvelous scenarios and stage sets at a movie-like Southwood.



Previous page : 1981-19 : An Angel from the Netherlands
Next page : 1981-21 :


***************

[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-10-05 18:03 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

グレン・グールドの36回忌に寄せて

新グールドへのメール4

お元気ですか?
いつも見守って下さってありがとうございます。

1985年、あなたはもうこの世にいませんでした。
私は、ツァラトストラとの約束を叶えようと、
溌剌とトロントで学んでいました。

この秋はその年に起った日航機ジャンボ123便の事件のことで、
思うこと多く生活しています。
本年はグールドファンのネット仲間のこの事件に関する報告を
お供えしたいと思います。

  風化させてはならない日航123便事件

  
先月(9月)20日には、父の旧制高等学校の卒業アルバムが、
台湾と日本の架け橋第一人者の片倉佳史氏と共に台北へ行きました。
父はやっと、生まれ故郷「台湾」へ帰ることができました。
台湾を離れて70年。父の夢が叶いました。
b0071688_09252810.jpeg
この頃、人間の孤独とは
「本来、光の中に一心同体であるものが、
 肉体や個別の心を与えられたがために感じる本質的な淋しさではないか?」
と考えるようになりました。

人が人を求めるのも、本来、光の方を向きたいからかも知れません。

ではまた、来年まで。 再見‼︎ 

マサコ


*********************


[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-10-04 09:25 | グールドへのメール | Comments(0)

秋の三冊

a0019212_13054828.jpg
久しぶりで姉のところで暮らしている。
懐かしい本棚を調べて、三冊取り出して思い思いに拾って読む。

お気に入りは「ショパンのプレリュード集 作品28」。
       トーマス・ヒギンズ編、松前紀男訳。東海大学出版会
全楽譜、アナリーゼ、考察と論評という構成。
「考察と論評」には作曲家シューマン、リストの他、
作家や詩人のこの曲への思いや形容が書かれている。
中でもジョジュル・サンドとアンドレ・ジイドのは長く、
この曲についてのユニークなエピソードを語っている。

前奏曲愛好者へのお薦め本。

a0019212_13055179.jpg

「銀の匙」 中 勘助 作 岩波書店

ずいぶん前に求めた一冊だけのワイド版の本。

日々、日本語が剥離していく私にとって、
もう一度、夏目漱石が絶賛した文章と
子供が感じ取った古き日本時代の生活に触れておきたい。


a0019212_13055269.jpg
「響ある運動づくり」 村田久遺稿集

著者を直接知っているのと知らないのでは
その人の書いた文章を読む時、差が出る。
実際読者は、知らない人、会ったことのない人の作品に囲まれて生活する。
この本の著者の場合は1992年からお付き合いがあり、今も夫人とお話する。
彼の一生を、折々に綴った文章と説明で追っていく読者となる。

いつも日本は土壇場だったのだろう。
ただ誰もそれを感じずに今日も生きている。
今度の選挙、日本の未来が決まっているのなら、
いつの選挙だって、決まっていることだったろう。
日本人が急に変わることなどない。
日本人が重要と思わないもの、政治、社会、他者への関心。
その反対の人生を生きた方の記録。



*********************

[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-09-27 15:06 | エッセイ | Comments(0)

グレン お誕生日おめでとう!

b0071688_21170561.jpg
写真:グレン・グールド 写真による組曲より


85歳、おめでとう。
子供の時からユニークな坊やだったあなたにこの歌を贈ります。






**************************

[PR]
# by mhara21 | 2017-09-25 00:00 | エッセイ | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-19 : An Angel from the Netherlands

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

b0071688_10305678.jpg
#An Angel from the Netherlands

On July 11th, after seeing “Swan Lake” at O’Keeffe Centre I could hardly wait to visit the Smiths’ house again. It was bad of me to barge in unannounced, but it was very difficult to call them on the phone and ask for a visit.
I could hear some noise from the back terrace. When I went behind and looked, I saw a beautiful woman standing on the newly built terrace.

“Good afternoon,” I greeted her.
“Are you Mako?”
Her voice was nice, and I felt myself relaxing immediately upon hearing it.
I asked, “Are you the lady of the house?”
Gazing at her husband, she replied with deep emotion, “Yes, I am.” Her name was Francis. I had an impression they were close and loved each other.

“Have you contacted Gould’s father for me?”
“He is ill, so I couldn’t broach that subject with him when I called,” Robert replied.

“Would you like to see the inside of the house? Please, do come in.” Francis stood up energetically, carrying well a big, round belly. A baby was going to come to this world any day now.

The rooms inside the house were beautiful. Private rooms of modest size were lined up with a fairy-tale-like atmosphere. We climbed a beautiful staircase that led to the second floor.

“This used to be Glenn’s room!”
I couldn’t believe such a big man like Gould had lived in that tiny room. Next to it was another room. That was my hosts’ bedroom. At the end of the corridor was a study room.

“We used to live in a house on the south side of this street. My husband is a lawyer, and he wanted to have a study besides the bedroom. When Mr Gould remarried he offered to sell this house to us, so we decided to buy it. I guess Glenn’s elderly father didn’t like the idea of selling his house to a complete stranger.
I don’t think there is another father who did so much for his son as Mr Gould. This house is full of his memories with his son.”

“Your husband is a lawyer?”
“Yes, he works in a legal office in Queen Street.”

“Oh, now I understand! Before coming to Toronto I spent one and a half months in Vancouver, and I though there I was going to meet a lawyer.”
“Why did you think that?”
“It was just a feeling.”

Francis laughed in a kind way. She was the fourth of five sisters and used to people, and maybe because of that she was clever and enchanting.

“I was ill for a long time when I was younger, and Gould was my purpose of living during that time. I lived to travel to Canada and meet him one day.”
She didn’t ask me more questions after that.

“Does your stomach feel heavy?”
“Well, yes, it does, but more than that, the baby is quite restless. It should be born before long.”

After she showed me the rooms upstairs, unintentionally I took her hand in a handshake. I put so much energy in it that it turned more into a grip of hands than a handshake.

“Thank you so much for being so kind to me. I can’t express how grateful I am. Thank you for your kindness.”

“You’re welcome. There are books and records that Gould’s elderly father couldn’t take with him after he remarried. Gould does not hate people, but he finds tenacious fans irksome. His performances on TV are proof that he is not a shy person.”

“Anyhow, I wonder if their special relation isn’t because Gould is an only child.”

My problem with English was vexing me so much. I met many nice people, and if I could have spoken in my native language we could have had such nice conversations. However, I fretted because I couldn’t express myself.
When I spoke in Japanese, though, the conversation led nowhere if the person I spoke with was not interested in its content. But I knew that, with my English language ability, even if I met Gould I would not be able to communicate with him.

There was a piano in a room downstairs.
“Do you play? This is his mother’s Flora piano.”

It was a piano with great performances. Of course, Gould must have played it as well. When I sat at the piano, I saw on the top shelf on my right a thick, old SP collection of Beethoven sonatas performed by Artur Schnabel.

Once, my mother who listened to Gould’s performance of Beethoven sonatas on the radio laughed saying, “Gould is imitating Schnabel. He must be Schnabel’s fan.”
My mother was right. This SP collection is the same as the one my mother listened to with her older brother when she was in her teens. Well, of course they would have it in this house.

Robert was busy with the construction of the terrace. Last month I received the top hospitality from the husband, and this time I received it from his wife.

“That piano was Glenn’s mother’s piano,” Robert told me.
“Yes, I heard that from your wife.”

“His father couldn’t take it with him, so he asked if we would buy it.”
“That is a Chickering piano, right?”
“Yes, it is. There are many things in this house Mr Gould left behind. You can come and see them later again. The piano has a rather good sound.”

“You made quite a nice terrace.” With these words I parted from them. I walked down Southwood Hill with my hopes even higher then they had been before.
 
When I returned to my lodging, for some reason I continued thinking intensely about nothing else but Gould’s mother Florence.
I remembered the lines written on the back of one of Gould’s record covers, “When I was three years old I started learning the piano from my mother who was an amateur pianist.”
“Is that the house? Where Gould pursued his passion?”
For some reason, persons of Florence and Francis came to overlap in my mind.

Francis was born in the Netherlands in 1953. She came to Canada with her family following their dream. She showed me a photo of her as an intelligent-looking child, standing on the ship bound for Canada.

She was cheerful and talkative. And later in our relationship I would occasionally notice, “You haven’t been really listening to what I was saying since a while ago, have you? Go ahead and try and repeat what I said last!” We communicated in quite a sister-like manner.

Translated by Saiko 




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# by mhara21 | 2017-08-27 10:33 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-18 : A Trip to Montreal

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.
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# A Trip to Montreal

I travelled to Montreal between July 1st and July 7th.
A very nice woman from the US chatted with me on a sightseeing bus.
Three women from France I met on another bus were also nice to me.
However, sightseeing was not well organised so I wasn’t impressed much with anything I saw or visited.

Today is July 7th and it is Tanabata Festival in Japan. I’m on the train back to Toronto.
A stout woman who boarded the bus in Kingston asked if she could sit next to me.
“I just had a lobster for lunch. Do you mind checking well if I have some of it stuck between my teeth,” she asked. She then leaned her head and opened her mouth wide for me to look.
I was completely dumbfounded with the request but I managed a reply, “No, I don’t see anything.”

I thought she was a Latina, but I learned she was actually an English woman traveling around Canada with her husband. So I ended up in conversation with this lady, who was about 60 years old, until we reached Union Station.

In the sense that they don’t express their true feelings, British Anglo-Saxons are equivalent to people from Kyoto in Japan.
British two-facedness, that is the difference between one’s true feelings and feelings showed publicly, come out when they say things like, “Dracula is popular because it’s British,” or, “Americans could never come up with someone like Jekyll and Hyde in their novels.”

The English lady I travelled with seemed to be an exception to this rule, though. She was rather unguarded. She was self-centred, and took everyone but the British as idiots, not only Asian people.
Yet, I guess she was kind of cute in her simplicity. She pointed with her finger, “Look, that is my husband sitting over there,” and chirped happily, “When we get to Toronto we have to meet again!”
After we got off at Union Station, her saint-like husband promptly found a porter and together they took over our huge luggage.
“I chatted with this girl all the time on the train,” the wife informed him.


This husband and his simple-hearted wife were like the union of yin and yang, male and female principles of Kannon, Buddhist deity of compassion. I stared in fascination at them. I wonder what kind of man is waiting for me in the future?

Translated by Saiko 
  




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# by mhara21 | 2017-08-18 00:00 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)

後追い日記1987年8月10日・日 記

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1987年8月10日 日 記

姉とコインランドリー店にて洗濯中。
洗濯機は1台75セント。ドライヤーは1回25セントでこちらの方は何回か入れ続ける。頭はボーっとしている。あれこれこの世の身の上が、5年前と同じで全くわからない。

働こうにもVISAがない。2つの結婚斡旋所に申込みをして、何だか腹立たしい。帰り道、体も手も足もバラバラになるようで、家に着くなりベットに倒れ込んでしまった。

こういう文章では、あまりに味気ない。何か夏草のことでも書きたい。だのにまとまらない。カナダに住んで、カルチャーショックは経験した事はないし、手ひどい失恋もなかったし、人種差別もあまりなかったような気がする。今の下宿は、この6年の中では悪い方のひとつで、5月末、姉が来てくれなかったら、どんなにみじめな夏になっていただろうか?

 アーアー、ひとりは、嫌だ。
翌日、お見合いしたベトナム人はこの会を通して逢った女性では私が4人目にあたるといった。前の人々は、ウクライナ人、中国人、イラン人とさすがにトロントのお見合いらしく国際色豊かである。
彼は、人は戦争に対して何もできないと言う。果たして何もできないだろうか?戦争とは、私たちの心の内部にいつも起こっているもの。
どんな環境にいようと、自分の敵はいつも自分であり、人間は、神様と同じ世界に住んでいる瞬間は少ない。こうした乱れが・・・・。

私は、人類と自分に最高の期待を持っている。
そんな事より、私のオムコさんは、どこにいるのだろう?


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# by mhara21 | 2017-08-15 12:11 | 後追い日記87年 | Comments(0)

Diary Entry 1981-17 : The Immigration

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

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#The Immigration

On June 23rd I went to the immigration by myself.

Someone gave me advice, “It’s different if you go together with a white person,” but I didn’t think that was necessary.
I lied quite a lot to my immigration officer.
Compared to my life in Japan where there had been no need to lie, I did a lot of lying in Canada. For example, I told her
“When I finished school (I actually don’t have any formal education), I worked as a secretary in my older sister’s law office.”
“As my sister was very busy and I was extremely competent (actually, I was totally incompetent), and as there was no one to take my place, I worked virtually without any vacation or break (actually, because of my illness I mostly slept).”

“I took a vacation, planning to travel a lot this year. I thought to travel around Canada and Europe, or maybe to go to South America, but when I came to Canada I completely fell in love with this country (the immigration officer couldn’t help cracking a smile at that).”
“So, I decided to use this opportunity and stay here for a while. I even started attending an English language school.”

“Also, many of my friends from Japan will come for sightseeing during my stay here (no one came yet, though). So that must be good for Canadian economy, right?”

I didn’t have the slightest idea about how far my mouth would go on running, but in foreign countries people generally didn’t get angry with others for talking too much.

Yet, “I am not good in English so I can’t explain well…” I go on commendably.
“Oh, you are doing quite well!”

“I also have a return ticket bought.”
And so I got a visa approved until October 3rd, the day when my plane departure was due.



The biggest problem I had with English was at the bank. I couldn’t say a thing.
Since conversation at the bank hadn’t been included in the English language radio course I had followed, I hadn’t learned any phrases used at the bank. When I went to the Dominion Bank in our neighbourhood to open a bank account, I was in such panic that I sweated all over.

In Japan I had no time even for my piano, let alone for my English.
Even if I did want to study English, doing it turned into a lofty dream like the piano. I was unwell then, with my head spinning due to seizures and I couldn’t focus on anything because the pain was really bad.

Yet, after living in Toronto for about a month, one day I noticed my pains had decreased. Though slightly, my life did become easier. Maybe it was because of humidity?

If I compared the state of autumn leaves in Toronto and Vancouver, I could immediately see the difference. In Toronto, the leaves that fell on the pavement or the ground were dry and if I kicked them they would scatter in all direction. However, in Vancouver, even if I looked at them on sunny days they looked squashed, and leaves on trees stuck together due to humidity.
Or maybe it was because of the difference in the magnetic field, because in Toronto I could feel positive energy circulating up my legs directly from the ground.

Translated by Saiko 
  





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# by mhara21 | 2017-08-13 00:24 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)