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Diary Entry 1981-14 : My Diary June 6th, 1981


Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

b0071688_10084393.png

# My Diary of June 6th, 1981

What a day it is!
I guess the reason the house at 32 Southwood Dr appears so small is because it is surrounded by a forest-looking-like grove.
Perhaps I will get an opportunity to see Gould’s parents… With that thought I left my new home. I met an elderly man who seemed to work as a building contractor and ended up chatting with him.

Today I feel like a ray of sun that glistens over Lake Ontario. As I am sitting by the side of the lake with infatuated look on my face, a little girl asks me with real contempt, “Are you a Chinese?” She is standing there almost naked. There is also a middle-aged woman, looking at me kind of distastefully. It appears that Gould himself says, “I am of Scottish ancestry, I am an Anglo-Saxon,” I guess maybe this is a WASP residential area.

When I came back home I talked with my landlady, Mrs Liang.
“So, is Gould’s house big?”。
“Actually, it is small! There is a man who knows Gould’s father, so he will speak with him for me!”
“Wow, they must have asked themselves what kind of a crazy Japanese girl they were dealing with!”
“Well, its better than nothing”
“Is Gould rich?”
“He has four houses, so I guess he must be.”


Ah, I wonder if I managed to convey my feelings well. Next time, I have to visit them again, wearing a proper suit. I really want to get inside of that house.

At the time I was in junior high and ill, there was a pillow in the house handmade by my mother. When I couldn’t go to school, or when my body suffered in pain, or when I couldn’t sleep at night because I was worried about my future, I would hug that pillow and comfort myself playing a game of make-believe, imagining my pillow was Gould’s baby.
My heart would turn peaceful when I imagined, “This is that man’s precious child.”
What are these feelings towards Gould that I have? I wonder if it would be quite annoying for Gould to have someone think of him and have feelings for him, someone he didn’t really want to think of him and have feelings of him.

Oh, if only I could get to play the piano with him… Ah, the very thought makes my legs all wobbly.
But I already know, my mother’s words.
“There is no way a world genius would have anything to do with someone like you. This is a childish behaviour of yours that exasperates me!”
“I won’t know that unless I go and ask him!”
But, yes, I guess my mother was right.
However, I will know how things stand now that I acted on my dream and came this far.
And yet, I don’t even know what my own feelings for Gould are.


Translated by Saiko   





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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-08-02 10:17 | 後追い日記81年 | Comments(0)
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