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October 16, 1982 (35) Conversation with Gould (part 2)

Tag: English 1981 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1982 ← Please click here.
Tag: English 1983 ← Please click here.
Other English Version ← Please click here.

b0071688_16510233.jpg

Gould: “You are a really strange person, Mako.
If I would show up before someone else, I can imagine what that person
would say.
For example, “Enter my body and play the piano, please,” or something
like that…

However, you tell me ‘I am going to my piano lesson now. Please, don’t
laugh at my lousy playing. I don’t want to be startled in the middle of
my playing.’ Neither do you say, ‘My arm hurts, could you fix it for me
please?’  That is, you are a person who finds it difficult to ask favors
from others.”

Masako: “Well, it’s just that nothing occurs to me to ask for.”

Gould, “Also, an ordinary person would ask me to help them get their
hands on a part of my vast wealth. You don’t ask for that either.”

M
asako, “I have no financial troubles. I can’t get rid of my wasteful
spending, though. That is my problem.
I am too preoccupied with my harmony lessons or history test to think
up favours to ask of you.”

G
ould, “You do have talent for piano, Mako. However, your piano tests will
end in two years. Maybe it is not a good thing to tell you now, because
you may become disillusioned, but the piano you are so wholeheartedly
practicing at the moment will not really take up a great part of your life
in the future. To make an analogy, it would be just a tip of your little finger.
You will become a woman who will actually actively try her talents in many
different areas. Furthermore, completely unintentionally, you have been
saving deceased people.

You are sacrificing you own body in order to help those souls who can’t
sort out their feelings even after their death. 
Why are you always worrying that you might get ill and not be able to go
to school?
Actually, I used to be like you. I couldn’t look at your worrying face any
longer, so I came to speak to you. To tell you, you must not trouble
yourself too much.
The young man you are now fretting over so much is not actually a good
person. However, you are saving many spirits without recognizing it
during these busy days of yours. Looking at the living from this side, I
see many things I had not been able to see before. It was better that way.
Now I know there are virtually no people who can understand you.
I am having a nice time because you are here. When I send signals or try
to speak to my friends and acquaintances, they don’t notice me. I did
believe there were such special people like you. And then I ran into you.
Someday, you will write about your spiritual meetings with me! 
I am praying for your happiness.
Life is a wonder, but there are many wonders after one dies as well.
For example, I can learn almost anything I want to know about you. I can
see images of what you did lately in Niagara, or even what your parents
did many years ago. And I can also see your future. I can see much deeper
into people’s hearts now then than when I was alive, or better to say when
my body belonged to this world. I can say I can see so deep into people’s
hearts that I get disgusted with it all. 

I feel sorry for you when I hear you moaning in pain. But you quickly
switch your thoughts from your aching body to something else. That is
why you are managing so well. I know that because, after all, I had lived
my life like that too.


M
asako, “Mr. Gould, you always say interesting things to me. Thank you.
I believe you had had a free and happy life.
Now that you’ve liberated yourself from the imprisonment of your
corporeal body, I guess you became even freer.
The souls who come to me are mostly those of people with heavy and
bitter feelings. Many of them were victims of other people’s sins and
crimes, so they are under oppression and their bodies are scarred.
There are many who committed suicide, too. When a soul comes to me,
my body convulses, it hurts, I feel nauseated, and there is absolutely
nothing good about it. I suddenly find myself hating the world, or being
unhappy and distressed. However, this happens even if there is no other
soul in me. I have a feeling I have lived 80 or 90 percent of my life in
such misery.


I wanted to tell him “If you are really with me all the time, why don’t
you hold my hand and walk with me?” but I could not feel his presence
anymore.

Maybe Gould transformed into energy that is like the splendid music
he
used to perform.

Translated by Saiko


b0071688_16523452.jpg





next Catch-up dairy November 1982 (36)

Japanese version of this page 1982年 (35)10月14日の会話





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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-01-28 09:11 | 後追い日記82年
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