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October 16, 1982 (35) Conversation with Gould (part 2)

b0071688_16510233.jpg

Gould: “You are a really strange person, Mako.
If I showed up before someone else, I can imagine what that person
would say. For example ‘Please, enter my body and play the piano’
or something like that…
However, you tell me ‘I am going to my piano lesson now. Please,
don’t 
laugh at my lousy playing. I don’t want to be startled in the
middle of my practice.’ You don’t even say ‘My arm hurts, could you
fix it for me please?’ I can se you are a person who finds it difficult
to ask favors
from
others.”

Masako: “Well, it just that nothing occurs to me to ask for.”

G: “Well, an ordinary person would ask me to help them get their
hands
on part of my vast wealth, for example. You don’t ask for that
either.”

M: “I am not in financial troubles. My problem is that I can’t get rid of
my
wasteful spending. I am too occupied with my harmony lessons or
history test to think up of favors to asking from you.”


G: “You do have talent for the piano, Mako. However, your piano
tests
will
end in two years. Maybe it is not a good thing to tell you
now because it may cause you disillusionment, but the piano you
are whole heartedly practicing at the moment will not really take up
a great part of your life in the future. To make an analogy, it would
be just a tip of your little finger.

You will become a woman who actively tries her talents in many
different
areas. 
Furthermore, without any intention, you have been saving deceased
people.
You have been sacrificing you own body in order to help
those souls who can’t sort out their feelings even after their death. 
Why are you always worrying that you might get ill and not be able to
go to school?
Actually, I used to be like you. I couldn’t look at your worrying face
any
longer, so I came to speak to you. To tell you, you must not
trouble yourself overly.

The young man you are now fretting over so much is not actually a
good
person. However, you are saving many spirits without realizing
it during these busy days of yours. Looking at the living from this
side, I see many things I was not able to see before. It is better that
way.
Now I know there are virtually no people who can understand you.
I am having a nice time because you are here. When I send signals or
try to speak to my friends and acquaintances, they don’t notice me.
I believed there were such special people like you, though. And then I
ran into you. Someday, you will write about your spiritual meeting with me!

I am praying for your happiness.
Life is a wonder, but there are many wonders after one dies as well.

For example, I can learn almost anything I want to know about you.
I
can see images of what you were recently doing in Niagara, or even
what you parents did many years ago. And I can also see your future.
I can see much deeper in people’s hearts now than when I was alive,
or better to say when my body belonged to this world. I can say I see
far more than I would like to.

I feel sorry for you when I hear you moaning in pain. But you quickly
switch your thoughts from your aching body to something else. That is
why you are managing so well. I know that because, after all, I lived
my life like that too.”

M: “Mr. Gould, you always say interesting things to me. Thank you.
I believe you had a free and happy life. Now that you liberated yourself
from the imprisonment of your corporeal body, you became even freer,
I guess.
The souls who come to me are mostly those of people with heavy and
bitter feelings. Many of them were victims of other people’s sins and
crimes, so they are under oppression and their bodies are scarred.

There are many who committed suicide, too. When a soul comes to me,
my body convulses, it hurts, I feel nauseated, and there is absolutely
nothing good about it. I suddenly find myself hating the world, or being
unhappy and distressed. However, this happens even if there is no
other
soul in me. I have a feeling I have lived 80 or 90 percent of my
life in such misery.”

I wanted to tell him “If you are really with me all the time, why don’t
you hold my hand and walk with me?” but I could not feel his presence
anymore.

Maybe Gould transformed into energy that is like the splendid music
he
used to perform.

translated by Saiko


b0071688_16523452.jpg





next Catch-up dairy November 1982 (36)

Japanese version of this page 1982年 (35)10月14日の会話





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[PR]
by mhara21 | 2017-01-28 09:11 | 後追い日記82年
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